Privilege, Power, and Difference

First off, I thought this was a fantastic read.  Privilege is something that I have spent a lot of time thinking about over the last decade, and the way that Dr. Johnson describes and explains this phenomenon, to me, was incredibly clear and comprehensible.  I tend to run in what would be considered liberal and progressive social circles, and the majority of my family that I interact with share similar values.  The concept of privilege however still remains a contentious issue for some that I consider close friends and family.  Particularly white privilege and in rarer cases male privilege.  

The first time I truly grasped and internalized the concept of my own privilege happened embarrassingly late in my life.  It was about 10 years ago, which would put me in my early thirties, when I read an article a female friend of mine had posted on one of their social media pages.  I haven’t been able to find the specific article, but the premise was explaining why women rarely give direct answers when turning down male advances.  At the time I was stewing over a series of interactions I had recently had with a female acquaintance who I was interested in.  I had asked her out a few times, and each time I received a response along the lines of “maybe,”  “I’ll get back to you,” or ”my schedule is really busy this week, but we’ll see when it clears up.”  I eventually realized she wasn’t interested and let it go, but I still felt frustrated, and not because this was a novel experience, in fact it had very similar to most responses I got in those situations up to that point.  I found myself thinking “why won’t she just say she’s not interested?”  “Why all the vague and ambiguous responses?”  

This is where my thoughts were when I read the article I mentioned above, and boy, did I receive an education.  The gist of the article was that, for women, dating is inherently dangerous, and directly rejecting male advances or interest can lead to real harm, and so less direct responses are often used as a means of protection.  It wasn’t something that I had considered before, that I would be perceived as a potential danger, someone that needed to be diffused gently.  The article further detailed many of the realities women need to deal with while existing in a male dominated world, much of which mirror the examples of gender privilege enumerated by Dr. Johnson.  I spent the majority of that day thinking about and trying to imagine, to the best of my ability, what it must be like to live with all of these fears and anxieties every day on top of the other fears and anxieties I already have.  I’ve never thought twice about walking around alone at night, I’ve never worried about who’s around when I’m drinking at a bar, and I’ve never worried that someone I was attracted to could kill me with their bare hands.  

I did start to think about it that day, and I try to hold that realization, that brush with understanding with me in my interactions with women, and other groups that don’t share the privileges that I enjoy.  One thing I came to realise was that while I might not be the problem, I am part of a problem; a culture that allows the perpetuation of privilege and oppression between genders, races, sexualities, and class.  It’s a concept I try to share with others who will listen when the topic arises, and I really appreciate how succinctly Dr. Johnson presents these ideas.